I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
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