Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
