Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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