Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
