you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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