some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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