Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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