I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
