I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
