About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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