Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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