Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
