therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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