I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
