i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
