the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize