I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
