I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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