# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
