I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
