Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
