I puked a lego.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
