if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
