idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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