the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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