shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
