best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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