you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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