what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Randomize
