Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
