Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
zippers are such a cool invention
he told me I talked like a deaf person
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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