Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
