literally had 100 drinks last night.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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