All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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