My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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