'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Found your dick twin last night
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Randomize
