I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
