I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
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