I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
