i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Found the puke drawer
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
