maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Randomize
