Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
