You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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