So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
