is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Still dying that you shit outside
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
