i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
My Sexting was not on an AP level
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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