he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
