After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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