Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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