based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
