He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize