She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
40s are totally the cure
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
