you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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