So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
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