At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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