I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
