I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
