I'm really into asian looking animals
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
