My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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