first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Randomize
