I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Randomize
