i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
