I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize