You just made me feel so damn special
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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