I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize