Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
