why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
