We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize