I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
